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Preventing Child Molestation |
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• Infant Safety |
Resources
| Adult
Education
Any child can be sexually molested, anywhere, at any time. How can children be protected?
Did you know? In South Africa it is estimated that one in four girls and one in eight boys are sexually abused before the age of sixteen. Most perpetrators have no criminal record. They often nurture their victims over many years.
In 80% of the cases the sexual molester is known to the child or the family. It could be an uncle, aunt, friend, neighbour, parent, etc. Any person, even in the position of authority, can be a potential molester. This includes strangers.
Lack of knowledge makes innocent children more vulnerable. If we never teach them about and prepare them for situations like these, they think that adults are allowed to do this "because they are adults". Children who have never been taught that they have the right to say NO to anyone, even adults, and who don't know anything about sex and sexuality, are more vulnerable.
How can we protect our children It is impossible to give our children total protection. We can, however, prepare and educate them about sexual molesting. Children must be made aware of all the potential things that can happen, so that they know how to react to avoid them. Depending on the age of your child, you can teach him step by step about the different dangers to look out for, without taking away his innocence or frightening him. You should always try to be aware of where your child is and what he/she is doing. If your child has been molested, remember: It is not the child's fault.
How do we teach our children?
"What if ." game - where you act out different situations which could occur, e.g. "What if a stranger offers you a lift?" This game helps children anticipate what can happen and plan what action to take in these situations. Through this game you can talk about possible solutions to the problem and agree on a solution that seems to be the best for your child. Remember: Try and let your child find answers independently. This teaches him/her to be resourceful.
Safe and unsafe touches Explain that touching which feels bad is unsafe. An unsafe touch is when someone touches them in a way or place that makes them feel uncomfortable. This can confuse and frighten them. Safe touches make them feel warm inside Teach children that their bodies belong to them and no one can touch or kiss them in any way that makes them feel uncomfortable. They have the right to control what happens to their bodies. You as parents can help your child to recognise his/her own feelings of comfort and discomfort and to trust these feelings.
Teach your children how to say NO Give your child permission to say No to adults. It is difficult for a child to say NO to an adult, but he/she must practice saying NO in a loud voice. Every child has the right to say NO.
Secrets Offenders rely on children being willing to keep secrets. Encourage children never to keep something like this a secret, but to always tell an adult they trust.
Bribes Molesters often offer children bribes in exchange for sexual favours, e.g. sweets, gifts, money, kittens. Gifts are given freely, but bribes are given to make children do things they do not want to do. This is unsafe.
Children Should Not Define People As Good Or Bad Do not teach your child that there are bad people and good people. Children seem to think that strangers are "bad" people and people they know, or like, are "good" people and won't hurt them. This is wrong. Teach children to think objectively:
Answer Children's Questions Children are curious and often ask questions. They hear things on TV or from their friends. Parents should never ignore these questions. It is important to give honest answers to all their question. Parents do not have to give all the information to the child, which could frighten or confuse him or her, but just enough to answer the question. If you give honest answers, children will trust you and ask questions again. Questions are good. It gives you as a parent the opportunity to convey the correct information to your children.
Possible Danger Signal in Children Although these signs do not necessarily indicate that your child has been sexually molested, they will help you as a parent to identify that something is wrong:
If you child has been molested It is important to stay calm. You must believe your child. Children don't often lie about being abused.
Get Professional Help
Child Protection Units
Child Line Cape Town - (021) 461 1111 Johannesburg - (011) 484 3044 Durban - (031) 303 2222 Toll-free - 0800 055 555 Toll-free - 0800 123 321 (24 Hour)
Safe Line (021) 26 1100 (23 3333)
Your Local Hospital
Local Child & Family Welfare Organisation Encourage children to always tell an adult and to keep telling until someone helps them. Remember: Teaching children and preparing them is the most important aspect. They will then be prepared to handle and react to situations in a correct and safe way. Children that know prevention techniques and how to look after themselves are the safest children and are less at risk. Teach your child to: Refuse .. Run ... Report
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